Dickens, a cup of tea, and a palm sander

Well, my dear friends, I can no longer apologize for never posting. It is who I am and where I am right now. After finally finishing my graduate degree this past May, I was certain I would have all this time on my hands after which to write posts all the time. I even worried that I might start posting too much! So much for that. To be fair, I do have my hands full with a colicky, now-6 month old baby boy, a 2 ½ year-old going-on-cranky little man, and an “I-might-be-6-but-am-really-a-13 year-old-drama-queen-little-miss-sassafras” daughter who just started kindergarten (and only ½ day so there’s no rest for the weary). To counter this, I have Thistlebees in Sterling at the Cider Mill but down-sized somewhat there and added a second location in Wilton, New Hampshire at the White Home Collection. Three kids, two shop locations equals more work than I can handle. I am burning out fast.

 While I love Thistlebees and all things home and garden, I also love my children. I am coming to a sort of crossroads: either rethink the business or rethink the kids. Since the circus isn’t coming to town anytime soon (except the circus that is my life), I am stuck with keeping my wee angels of torment and love. I have come to the point where I am questioning my intentions, my commitments, my attention, and my reality which brings me back to a story I just read on the Urban Farmhouse blog about “No Insignificant Moments.” It is a moving post by Perry Maughmer about the recent untimely death of a young women he knew who was just beginning to blossom, grow, and spread her talents and beauty in this world. Part of it reads,

“I am asking you all to think about how you do things more so than what you do. To put it simply – where ever you are, be all there. Honor those you’re with by giving them your full attention and really engaging. Make each person feel like they are the only person in the room. Isn’t that the least we can do? …Remember, what may seem unimportant to you may mean the world to someone else.”

And so this powerful post spoke to my soul. It moved me in a way that I began to cry for that young woman whom I did not know, for my short-tempered, frustrations with my children, for my exasperating secret thoughts of, “Oh would you just hurry up and grow up so I can have my life back!” I, more than the average mother, should know how precious life is. How, in the blink of an eye, a sweet and sassy then 4 year-old daughter can almost become a memory because of a freak, life and body-altering illness.

Sweet "Kitty Kate" two weeks before she became sick.

Shouldn’t I be embracing motherhood and the gift of being able to stay home and raise my own children instead of getting angry because my 2 ½ year-old, who wouldn’t go down for a nap today and as a result made me put-off yet another day sanding a table for the shop, asked me to “nuggle” him on the couch? It is that age-old dilemma - Will you look back on your life and wish you had spent more time at work than being at home enjoying possible once-in-a-lifetime-moments with your children and your spouse? Do you forgo another year of making memories with your babies and scarcely decorating the house and yard for Halloween because you are too busy with other distractions than making decorating for Halloween a celebration for your children to remember always? My romantic, nurturing, primal, idealistic side says, “You are hurrying precious time” while my entrepreneurial, self-satisfying, creative, impatient side says, “go big now or go home!” The opportunity to love and raise my children comes only once but finding and restoring sideboards from the late 1800’s will be a challenge that can always be tackled, right?

 No definite decision has been made yet. To be honest I have always been an “all-or-nothing” kind of gal but I am rethinking, recalculating, reassessing, and reminding myself of what and who are most important. There may be some middle ground here that I can ultimately find but for now here’s to six profound years with my lovely and saucy daughter Kate! Here’s to two incredible years of Thistlebees! Here’s to “surviving” in so many ways…

Now six, there's no stopping little Miss Sassafras!

*Note - this was written in September and I am only getting around to posting it now!  YikEs!!

The memories of the 4th of July have always been so sweet for me.  They are filled with youthful images past of growing up in the quaint, Great South Bay bordering village of Bellport, Long Island. It is an idyllic existence, magnificent homes all white with green shutters and charming white picket fences lining Bellport Lane, the main street that leads down to “the dock” at the water’s edge.  It is along this picturesque street of Bellport Lane that artists set up their masterpieces for onlookers from near and far to admire and hopefully purchase during Artist on the Lane held every 4th of July since I can remember. 

It was our family tradition to begin our the annual 4th of July celebration with a walk down “the lane” in the morning followed by a stay at the beach then onto neighborhood barbeque hoping until we concluded with fireworks at the dock.  And while the only artwork I could afford at Artist on the Lane were miniature seascapes by local artist Hans Gabali (my collection numbers nearly 30), I cherished this July 4th morning tradition far more than the all the swimming, hot dogs and fireworks of every summer put together. 

Just a sampling of my Hans Gabali collection

While I am not sure if we will be enjoying Artist on the Lane this year, we are headed for “home” to Long Island.  During our stay with Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop, we will be sure to spend plenty of time at the beach with the next generation of summer revelers who will hopefully one day regard our 4th of July family traditions with sweet reminisce.  And for all these memories, all these freedoms, I praise God and the courage of those who came before us - here’s to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!  Have a Beautiful 4th of July!